My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
