those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
