I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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