hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
