were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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