your thong is hanging out like whoa
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
