i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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