READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
