Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
