there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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