I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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