there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
