yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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