Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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