There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
