i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
