Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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