wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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