writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
