I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
