Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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