You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
