You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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