And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
