i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
