Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i believe in u and ur pee
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
