We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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