we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
His nipple licking is glorious
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