I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
