I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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