there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize