Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
