I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize