he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Quick, to the slutcave!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
