Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
