you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she smelled like a LAN party
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
