I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
