I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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