I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think I died a long time ago.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
