Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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