He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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