Porn is love you can see.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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