One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
