is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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