the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
