We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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