I can text with my tongue
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
