take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
