We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize