God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
