i need an iv and a liver transplant
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
