girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My pussy is not your playground.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
