I'm gonna have a badass scar
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We're too hungover to prance.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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