i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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