I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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