you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
