How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
