So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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