Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
