I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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