You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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